Revising Written Work

You brainstormed. You wrote a plan. You wrote a first draft based on your plan. Now it's time to revise.


In revisng the writing pieces about our Ottawa trip, we are working on the curriculum expectation "make revisions to improve the content, clarity, and interest of written work". Below are some tips to consider for this piece about Ottawa, but that can be useful for other pieces as well.

Content (What information, details you have in your work)

• At this point you should be offering more than a basic recount.
• If your work consists only of "we saw this" and "we did that" type of sentences, your content is probably too simplistic for grade level.
• A good mix of "This reminded me of", "I learned this knew thing", "This is significant because", "This made me realize/think of" "I wonder" type of sentences offer greater complexity. These kinds of sentences involve
• making connections (to self, text, world)
• analysing (seeing how things fit together)
• conjecturing (guessing, predicting) 
• evaluating (making judgements)

Clarity (Whether your ideas are clearly expressed)

• read your work aloud, this is the first quick way to spot mistakes that interfere with meaning
• have someone else read your work, they might spot something you missed

Interest (How much someone will enjoy reading what you wrote)

• use a "hook" to grab the attention of your audience, some example of what might be used as hooks
• statistics
• definition
• quote
• question
• startling statement
• humour
• analogy
• anecdote (a quick, funny story)
• use a topic sentence to set focus
• use word pictures (try using figurative devices we are learning about in class)
• use a variety of sentence types and structures (long, short, compound)
• use your own voice (appropriate to the purpose and audience)